Day One

Set alarm for 5am. Woken up by Ann's alarm at 4.45am. She had it set at 600 decibels. Looked at my alarm clock and realised I hadn't actually set the alarm.

Ann lost the padlocks and keys for her case and rucksack. Searched the house only to find she had put them in the case and rucksack ready. Got everything ready and was at the door at 6.50am for the taxi. 

Made it to Stowmarket station and caught the train. Was busy but not too bad. Arrived at Liverpool Street before we knew it. Detrained and got a drink before heading to the Elizabeth line.

Whilst we waited for the next train heading to Terminal 5, a woman asked us if this was the right place for a train to Terminal 2. We said yes, it's the second train due and pointed to the screen. She asked Ann another five times in the one minute until the train arrived.

Eventually our train arrived and we got on and got a seat. Pootled across London. Was going fine until we got just before Heathrow when the driver informed us that the overhead power had failed. Waited for sometime before the wires were 'reenergised'. Then when we got to Terminal 5, we had to wait again due to the backlog of trains.

Eventually got into the station and got off and made our way to check in. We were travelling scum class plus, so could go to that check in. Stood in a non moving line for what seemed like an age whilst absolutely no one in front seemed to check any luggage. When it was our go it took all of a minute.

Got to security and got in line fairly quickly. Took the laptop out of the rucksack like an announcement and all the posters said. Man said I didn't need to. Took shoes off. Told I didn't need to. Did have to take belt off which is mainly material. Wondered how it could contain explosives.

Went through the bodyscanner. No unexpected items in the groin area.

Made our way up to the Club Aspire lounge. Spotted Mark Noble as we wandered through. Said to Ann that was Mark Noble. She said 'who?'.

Checked into the lounge. Got a free pass through our travel insurance otherwise it would cost about £45. Was definitely not worth paying for. Man sat on the next seat playing loud things on his phone despite having headphones lying on the arm of his chair. Had some free food and promptly left. Went to a shop and Ann bought a smell.

Caught the train to the B gates. Followed some West Ham staff. One woman was on Facetime and was doing weird modern dancing as she walked along to the people she was talking to. Don't understand young people.

Boarding was already well underway, so we queued for about three mins and then we were walking the finger. Apparently according to Paul it was the same aircraft we had flown to LAX with them at Easter last year.

Got on plane to find the entire West Ham playing squad sat in business class. Saw Mark Noble again.

Got settled in and then we were off. As we took off I hoped no one turned the fuel off.

Had planned to spend the entire flight on the laptop editing a panto thinking it was a good use of time. Unfortunately laptop wouldn't play ball as to edit in Microsoft office it needed to be logged into my school account which it wasn't due to being on a plane. Had set it up beforehand hoping it would remember but it didn't. Watched the whole second series of Flintoff's Field of Dreams instead.

By the time that had finished, looked out the window and saw land. 

Coast

Jarrod Bowen then walked past. Not sure why he was visiting scum class plus.

Spent the rest of the time with Ann playing Who Wants to be a Millionaire. We won.

For a million pounds, where are you heading?

Before we knew it the landing gear was being lowered and we touched down. Managed to go the whole flight without going to the toilet which must be some sort of record.

Got off and got through security fairly quickly, although not before some woman moaned about how long it was taking. Ann and I thought it was the quickest we'd ever got into the US. Man at desk who scanned our fingerprint etc seemed uninterested in us or stopping us entering. His only question was 'what is the purpose of your visit?'.

Finally got to go to the toilet before we waited for our bags. Discovered football players don't wait for theirs, they get staff to do that.

Got our bags and then headed out to the Ride App pick up area. Ann tried to summon an Uber but the app was being crap. Eventually we went back inside to try and get a better signal. Didn't worked. Ann switched off her phone and then turned it on again. Uber then worked. Went back out and got in a car.

Headed towards New York City. Traffic was awful but it was rush hour. Crawled along mostly. Took just over an hour to do 12 miles. Arrived at The Dutch in Sonder. Sort of checked in but it isn't really a hotel, but it is. A bit like where we stayed in Hawaii a couple of year ago.

Got into our room and sat down for a bit. Decided to go and get pizza from a place about 30 seconds away. www.goodfellaspizzeriaoflic.shop Stood on the street waiting for it as the place is just a window. Ann kept talking about the trees in the street.

When the moon hits your eye

Sat in our room and ate it watching the A Team. I love it when a plan comes together.

Nearly fell asleep but the summoned the courage to turn the laptop on a write this. Laptop then decided to constantly try to do other things instead of opening the things I needed. Eventually restarted it to see if that helped. It then needed to do 'updates'. It didn't do them at home when I checked it out before we left!

It is now 4.12am to me. Ann is asleep as ever.

States visited - 1

Football teams seen - 1

Day Eight

Didn't want to get up but had to as we had to go home. Still heavy rain and storms raging. Nipped down for a quick breakfast before packing everything. Made sure we had everything then loaded the car. Paul and Helen were just loading their car as we set off. We needed to avoid toll routes so set the guidance to do so and set off.

As we drove the weather got worse and worse. Got bombarded with hail, could barely see through the rain and then water started to gather on the roads. Apple maps happily told us there was a flash flood warning for the area. Still managed to plough onwards despite these things. Messaged the the others who helpfully informed us it was dry on their route and that we had picked the wet one. Lots of lightning too.

When we reached a place called Trinidad suddenly it turned into a lot of water on the road. One part only had one passable lane and then a few seconds later there were no passable lanes. Water was pouring off the fields across the highway. Stopped as did everyone else. Had a look and didn't fancy it. It wasn't the longest piece of flooding but the visibility was so poor you could see how deep it was but we'd rather get on a plane than ruin a hire car. Pulled a U-ey. Looked to stop in the garage we'd just passed but its forecourt was underwater. Went back to the previous town of Malakoff. Absolute deluge everywhere. Stopped in the parking lot of a grocery store called Brookshire's to reassess. We both needed the toilet so braved the torrential rain and ran in. Used the facilities and then bought some cookies and a drink. Sat in the car contemplating what to do. Helen was sending us helpful messages like there was now a tornado warning just behind us. 

Helen suggested looking at the satellite images that we just get south as quickly as we could to get out the sprawling storm. There was a smaller road going south just behind us so we headed for it. Found tree debris in places and then blokes cutting up a big tree which had fallen across the road. As we got further south the rain began to ease. Got on to Highway 79 just south west of Palestine and things so much better. Headed towards Austin feeling relieved we got out of the storm. We could see it now north of us.

Then it started to rain again and then it got heavier and then we were in a thunderstorm again. Stopped for fuel in Buffalo. Hid for a brief time under the gas station roof. Used the facilities. Rain was raging again. Look at a satellite image and decided it would best to stay put and let the worst of it go over. Saw their was a Subway just down the road so raced to it. Ran inside and ordered. Woman in there said you're from Britain right? We said yes and congratulated her on being the only person ever to get that right. She said she been to the UK before and wanted to go back. I said we hoped to go back if we could just get to the airport.

Sat quietly for a while eating and studying satellite images. Decided that we had to leave and that eventually we would get through it and things would be better. So we did just that and eventually it did. By the time we got close to Austin we had sunglasses on. Stopped just north of the airport to fill the gas tank so we could return the car full. Cleaned it out and got our stuff all it the right bags. Found we had five bottles of water. Drove the remaining two miles to the airport. Dumped car and went to check in. Drank all the water before we went through security. Got through, met Paul and Helen in the American Airlines lounge. Sat around for a bit and waited.

Wandered to the gate which seemed to be at the other end of the city. Boarding wasn't quite ready so stood still for a bit. Eventually boarding started and due to their being a child with us we were the first to get on the plane. Awesome except we then had to wait for the world and his wife to get on afterwards. Eventually we did take off nearly an hour late. Needed the toilet a lot having drunk 2 litres of water before boarding.

Played monopoly and beat the plane at it. Ate some food. Tried to sleep. I think I did manage to actually sleep for the first time ever. At least an hour. Got woken up by the stewardess for breakfast. Ann definitely slept as the stewardess couldn't wake her up. Played and won Trivial Pursuit against the plane.

Landed, got off plane almost first. Straight through passport control. Bags arrived right at the beginning of the conveyor belt. Unbelievable. Never has it happened so quickly. All Paul and Helen's stuff too.

Said our goodbyes as they went off to the car park and we went to the Elizabeth Line. Got train to Liverpool Street. Arrived there exactly and hour and a half after landing. Must be a record.

Got on our train to Stowmarket. Some really annoying twats on our carriage who stayed all the way to Ipswich. Tried to dose a bit. Difficult.

Eventually got off and then got a cab home. Went to Hollow Trees to get some food and had lunch whilst we were there. Now been up over 30 hours minus whatever small amount of sleep I managed to get. Trying to stay awake long enough to go to bed at the right time. All in all this trip felt bizarre. Going in April, staying such a short time, feels like it is over before it began.

States visited - 4

Eclipses seen - 1

Cameras lost - 1

Total miles driven - 1906

Day Seven

 There was an eclipse. We saw it. More to follow......

Day Six

Got up at 8.30am and it was a struggle. Had breakfast, packed and were away by 9.50am.

Then we just drove. First leg was to Mt Enterprise which was a distance of 185 miles and took three hours. Stopped for fuel, toilet and drink. 

Then it was on to Mandeville, just north east of Texarkana. We actually followed I20 and I49 for part of the way which meant we dipped into Louisiana before getting in to Arkansas. The leg was 135 miles and took just over a couple of hours.

Stopped at a Subway within a garage. Man serving took the longest time it has ever taken a human to do anything. 15 mins to serve the people in front three sandwiches. At one point he started serving Ann before going back to them leaving Ann's sub on the top. Whilst he was busy taking eternity sorting them out, flies landed on the sub on the desk. When, millennia late, he came back to continue, Ann informed him that she required a new piece of bread due to the flies landing on it. He got a new one out and put the other one back in. A nice surprise for whomever gets that. Eventually we managed to get out with food. Ate it in the car then set off once more.

This time got 193 miles in before third stop at Bald Knob, a stint of nearly three hours. Went to Maccy Ds and got drinks and used the facilities.

Final leg was shorter at just 70 miles to Jonesboro. Arrive at 7.45pm, roughly ten hours after setting off. Parked and got our stuff out of the car to check in. Ann asked where the camera was. Looked through the car. Came to the conclusion it was 583 miles away in Houston. Only brought it to use tomorrow for the eclipse. Bugger.

Checked in and Ann tried to contact the hotel in Houston. I tried to figure out of whether we had any hope of getting back to Houston before we leave. Seems doubtful.

Went to Paul and Helen's room and broke the news.

Went to dinner at IHOP. I got told off for being too loud with a child.

Nipped to Walmart to see cameras. Decided against buying one.

Got back to the hotel and had lost the room key card. Not having a good day looking after things. Eventually decided it could only be in a couple of places. Found it in Paul and Helen's car down the side of the front seat where I'd been sitting.

Now back contemplating the pointlessness of existence, feeling tired after driving the equivalent of Exeter to Aberdeen.

Ann asleep, probably dreaming about cameras.

The big day tomorrow. Hopefully we'll find blue sky, although I won't be able to take a picture of it.

States visited - 4

Cameras lost - 1

Day Five

Up at 8am and down to breakfast by 8.50am. Decided to just have cereal today. Got a carton of milk and poured it on. It came out in lumps. Threw the whole thing in the bin and tried again. Poured the milk into a cup first and it still did not smell good. Gave up and had a waffle. Busiest breakfast we've seen this trip. Probably explained by the fact we are on the outskirts of Houston.

Back to our room. Quick online conversation with Paul and Helen about where to go tomorrow ready for eclipse day. Consensus was to head to Arkansas. Cancelled hotel bookings in Texas. Headed out just after 10am.

Drove the short distance to NASA. Parked up and walked in as we already had bought tickets online. Started out looking at the Space Station and Artemis exhibits. 

The next moon landing

LM

Got 'museum back' so decided to get a drink from the cafe or 'Food Lab'. Sat outside and pondered our next move. Went and lined up for the tram to take us on the rocket park tour. This turned out not to be a tour but a lift to the rocket park. There were rockets there. Looked at the V5 rocket. Saw one in 2012 at Kennedy Space Centre. Took a photo anyway.

Rocket, man

Went back on the tour tram to the main area. There was a chance to see inside the space shuttle/747 it sat on top of but the queue was very long. Decided to go to the shop instead. Bought some stuff and then went back out to see if the queue had shortened. It hadn't. Took photo of space shuttle.

Piggy back

The whole place was now rammed and more and more people were arriving. The 'Food lab' was also very busy. Decided that Kennedy Space Centre was a much better experience than this. Decided we couldn't be bothered to hang around anymore so left. Went to an IHOP for lunch. It was a lot less busy.

We then went to Walmart to get supplies in for dinner, tonight's snacks and tomorrow's long journey north. Headed back to the hotel for a few hours rest. Had a conversation with a bloke in the lift as he saw our carrier bag from NASA. He agreed it wasn't the greatest place and then gave us other places to go which were better. Watched Match of the Day. Rested. Ate dinner.

We then headed out for our evening's entertainment, Houston - Rooftop Cinema Club to watch a late showing of Pulp Fiction. It was a brilliant setting. People next to us barely wore their headphones to hear the dialogue and left halfway through. Must have be worth it!

Car

Bar

Headphones

Classic

Now back late and ready to sleep so fresh for a very long journey tomorrow.

Day Four

Didn't get up particularly early as we had no real plans for the day other than travelling.

Had breakfast at around 9am. There were two other people there which was two more than yesterday. Luckily I managed to avoid throwing pancakes and syrup on the floor today. As we left, Ann stole things like plates and bread.

Cancelled one of our four different hotel bookings for Sunday night on the basis of the latest weather models. Likely we will need to head north out of Texas to get the best eclipse view. We checked out at 11am and made the short journey to the Fulton Mansion. Had seen a flyer in the hotel for it and seeing as we were travelling past it we thought we'd stop in.

When we arrived it didn't look like it was open as it was deserted. It was open, there was just barely anybody there. We paid to get in. Got a dollar off for being a teacher. Probably the first and last time being one will ever pay off. Looked around the small information area explaining about the family who built the house. We then made our way across to the house. 

When we got into it a woman explained it was a self guided tour and gave us a laminated guide each. She also said that there were guides in the house to answer any questions. We thanked her and went into the first room. She followed us in and started telling us about it. I left it to Ann to try and feign interest in what she was saying. Luckily the only other visitors in the house came downstairs to leave and she had to go and get their laminated sheets so we were left alone. Said to Ann I thought it was self guided. We went into the next room and then she followed us in. And then into the next room. Not so much self guided.

Eventually we went upstairs and she didn't follow. However, there was another guide up there who proceeded to follow us into each room and not stop talking. We were very British in our politeness. Eventually we managed to escape and went down to the basement where there was no guide. Then we went out to the garden to have a look from the outside.

Something from a horror film

It was nice enough but not like a National Trust house. Wasn't much of a mansion. Actually only about forty years older than our house. A lot of its life it wasn't even used as a house, the garden was a trailer park and the house abandoned. It also gets flooded during storm surges.

Went back to the shop and bought a magnet and then set off for Houston.

Stopped for lunch in Port Lavaca at the Lighthouse Café. It was ok, a bit tatty but the food was good. It was after 2pm so we were the only ones in there. As we paid, the waitress, who had obviously been thinking about it for the whole time we were there, said ' Australian?'. No, we're from England came our stock reply. I had not long mentioned to Ann that no one had commented on our accents so far this trip.

We then fuelled up and drove non stop to Houston. It was a nice journey on smaller highways meaning there was plenty to look at. Listened to varying stuff through Apple music which even matched the journey at some points.

Also saw ourselves in a shiny lorry.

Shiny happy Nissan

Eventually arrived at the Fairfield Inn and Suites at Webster. Checked in. Went out and got some bits from a grocery store. Used the stuff Ann stole from breakfast to make dinner in our room.

She is still awake as I type this. Wonders never cease.

States visited - 2

Day Three

Slept very well. Ann not so much. Apparently her phone kept ringing. Didn't hear it.

Had breakfast in the hotel. No one else there at all. The quietest breakfast room we've ever experienced. That was lucky as I managed to throw a plate of pancakes and syrup on the floor and there were no witnesses.

Headed out to the USS Lexington, a World War II era aircraft carrier. Parked in the car park for the aquarium as we had prepaid for it and would be going there later. Got surrounded by birds as soon as we parked. They seemed to think we had food. They didn't want any sun cream. Walked the short distance to the ship and proceeded up the long gangway.

We're going to need a bigger boat

The entrance led into the hanger deck where the planes used to be kept. From there you could visit different areas of the ship. We did the hanger deck first, followed by the gallery deck and then up on the flight deck.

Hanger deck

Combat Information Centre

Planes on flight deck

Another plane

The flight deck

The stern

There were some interesting talking dummies at points. They had faces projected onto them which then moved as the voices spoke. It was very clever but also quite creepy too.

When we made it onto the bridge, there were signs everywhere asking people not to touch any switches, etc, needless to say every person we saw up there was touching everything. Must be an American thing to presume it doesn't apply to you.

At one end on the flight deck you could walk out on part of the ship that stuck out from the bow. So we did. It was an odd feeling dangling over the water.

Plank

The non plank plank from the plank

We headed back down to the Mess Deck cafe for lunch before touring the lower decks. We then headed to the shop to get a magnet.

As we left and walked down the long gangway back, someone decided to drive a truck up it. Not quite sure why. Pretty sure it isn't designed for trucks. Then remembered, we're in America, you do what you want.

Next, we headed back to the Texas State Aquarium. Once we were in we headed straight to the Starbucks located inside. Got a drink and then walked out and watched the Dolphin show which was on.

Jump

Still not sure what to make of things like these. These dolphins were all born in a 'protective environment' so can't be released into the wild, but do they really need to parade for the cheering masses to raise awareness? Maybe they just enjoy arsing about.

During the show, we were told how to help protect species like these in the sea. Don't leave litter, help with beach cleaning programs, don't use plastic. Then they did a quiz where they got a kid up and he had to answer a question about how to help and he answered 'don't drop litter' and won a chance to be photographed with the dolphins. It therefore seemed slightly ironic that at the end of the show when the crowd had left that two people went around collecting the rubbish the crowd had left. Felt like the message hadn't really got across.

Next we had a look at the turtles, rays and the alligator.

Terry the turtle

Alan the alligator

Saw this sign by the alligator. Makes you despair about humanity when you need a sign like this.

Why would you????

We then went in the quite extensive shop to get a magnet before meeting up with Paul and Helen who had arrived. Wandered around Caribbean and Gulf of Mexico zones seeing all there is to see.

Flamingoes

Fish

Sh...sh...sh...shark

Shark above

Every now and again there was a loud beeping and someone shouted at us how long until the aquarium was closing. This occurred more and more as we approached 5pm.

We left and then headed over to where Paul and Helen are staying on Padre Island. We then drove our cars on the beach and played in the sea. Well some of us did. Highlight was Alana using her spade to throw water over Paul, which both she and I found particularly funny.

Padre Island

Cars

Sea

Once it started to get colder we packed up, said our goodbyes and we drove back to our hotel via Walmart to buy some food. Con Air is now on.

States visited - 2

Dolphin watch - high

Shark watch - high